12 October 2009

anticipation coming to an end

three events that i have been thinking about and planning for what seems to be eons, are now around the corner. and i am in a bit of shock. i have spent so long thinking of them, it seems surreal that there is nothing left to think; just to do! it must also be admitted -thinking and planning gave me something to do, other than ponder on what the events mean, how they will change my life (in different degrees).

for at least the past five months, these events have defined my being. plans have been made in relation to when event 1 is over, or when i return from event 2. when all three are over, i will have a new slate, with no plans (at least none yet anyway!). while exciting, it is also a little alarming. there is a sense of emptiness; of things moving too fast, out of my control; of letting go (which i have never been particularly good at).

i am not ready to think much beyond the three events however. i will try to simply immerse myself in them, and hope that the anticipating did nothing to their charm. later, i may take stock..

No comments: